Crappy Pile of Crap

I still remember when my third grade teacher, Ms. Sodergren, told my parents that I was going to grow up to be an author. She told me to write all the wonderful things that came into my head and I did. I had stories written on a secret pad of paper carefully tucked under the keyboard of our family computer. It made the keyboard wobble, but alas, if anyone in my family read it they never let on…

I’ve had stories floating in my brain ever since. I even had a revelation EIGHT years ago on a long drive from LA to San Diego. I knew deep down acting was not what I was meant to do, instead I was supposed to write. I can show you the journal entry the next day... but doing what you feel called to is not always an easy task and so, the stories were squirreled away on my laptop- hidden where no one could ever judge them..

COVID affected us all differently, but I found myself riddled with anxiety anytime I clicked onto Instagram, and so I started trimming what I was consuming. I found comfort in a community of people who loved to read. In my opinion, these new friends were also using books as a way to cope with the daily mental stressors we were all facing. And like all authors, I was inspired by what I was reading and felt the call to revisit a nearly decade old idea and give it new life.

So I wrote and after a chance discussion with a brilliant friend, artist, editor, & personal cheerleader, Cat, I found myself staring down a moment I had long dreaded… I was going to let someone read what I had written. After a near panic attack, I sent her the pages and to my shock they weren't a crappy pile of crap! And so I embarked on a journey to bring what’s in my head to life. I slowly started to tell the people in my life “I’m an author” and despite feeling like I might die every time I tell someone new, I am still here.

And so friends, I am going to write a book and with any luck one day you will all get to read it. Without getting all social-media-self-help-bs-y, I believe that the passions that take root in us mean something and we deserve it to ourselves to not diminish what matters to us. We must allow our support systems the chance to cheer us on.