Moms Everywhere: I’m sorry I judged you…

BubbaI’m sorry I ever judged you for being late, canceling, or asking me to be ridiculously “available” so we could meet for lunch because I didn’t realize how delicately a good day and a bad day rested on an extra 15 minutes of nap time… Blasted nap time.

I’m sorry I ever spoke the words, “if they don’t create flexibility in their babies life they will never learn!!” I’m clearly an idiot who needs to be flogged. Flexibility!? HA! You are lucky if you can find some semblance of a routine with a baby, you are entirely flexible, but it’s about knowing how your baby will thrive and that trumps just about everything… Including a much needed meal of food with friends. Sorry boos.

I’m sorry I ever scoffed at a 5pm dinner request. Heck, is 4:30 too early!?!?

I’m sorry I judged that you didn’t have all wooden and bpa-free shit for your kid to play with. Who was I kidding!?! What do you want!? What will make you happy!? Plastic? Toys with sharp edges!? TV!? Hell, I’ll give you all of that!

I apologize for ever uttering the words “non-toxic” or “organic” in your presence. Self explanatory. See above.

I’m sorry I ever assumed that after you had a baby you were right as rain when even those with the healthiest mental fortitude are filled with so much emotion that can be downright exhausting all on it’s own, no mind you also have a tiny person to keep alive.

I’m sorry I ever judged you for being absolutely exacerbated and annoyed by this creature that you “supposedly love and cherish.” Dude, there are days where you are so absolutely NOT enthralled with being a doting mommy. It’s exhausting and sometimes infuriating. And on top of never quite knowing what your spawn needs, you are so exhausted you don’t even know what YOU need. Have I bathed today? Brushed my hair? My teeth!? Have I lost all ability to use proper personal hygiene!?!

I’m sorry I ever said, “I’m tired” in front of you because I had probably gotten at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep the night before and I’d probably get it again that night. So basically I was a dick head.

I’m sorry I ever shot you a judgmental sideways glance as you donned yoga pants and a top knot, AH-gain because I assumed you care what others think. That’s not to say you don’t care about your appearance, but there are days were your outfit and coiffed do take a major back seat to a catastrophic blown out diaper or a disaster of a nap time. And guess what, that’s okay!?!?

I’m sorry I didn’t write this sooner! I know I’ve written similar posts, but this one has been on my mind for a few months, but it’s just now finding it’s way out of my head over the past week. After talking to my mommy friends there seems to be an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy amongst Mothers, that needs to end now. I know it’s hard. I daily find myself wanting to do something better or have to more patience or to be more present in the moment… I am trying to remind myself that each day is a new day and when something doesn’t work today, I can start over fresh tomorrow. But what none of us needs is pressure to live up to anyone’s unrealistic standards, sometimes even our own.

Love them. Cherish them. And for the love of geez-o-petes give yourself a break!

  1. kristen says:

    GIRRRRRRRRL.

    Ugh. I’m sorry too.

    I had no idea how friggin hard it would be to be a mom. Wonderful, duh, but that whole “always a doting mommy” thing? Yeah, thats a blasted phantom. Sometimes, these little humans can be ROUGH.

    Thank you for writing this and cracking open the phony perfect mom standard that we all seem to fall short of. The mom guilt is one of the most real, unrelenting take-away feelings from most of my days… and I wish that weren’t the case! How do we fix this?!

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