Dearly Loved

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I recently been thinking a lot about adventure and about what brings a person to the point of no longer living each day as a glorious adventure.

When did we decide we could no longer dream or create or enjoy life as the beautiful gift it was intended to be.

I believe in God and Jesus and the cross, all that jazz… And sometimes I think we easily place that stuff into a faith box and we store it away and only think of it when there’s a need based on our own human judgement. What I think we often miss is that God and Jesus and “all that jazz” are directly linked to adventure and dreams and creativity. All that is good comes from God. And adventure, dreams, and creativity are good, my friends, they are so, so good.

greatestvia Tracy Lucy

There was a time not too long ago I wouldn’t dare write about my faith, in part because my faith was troubled, but largely because I didn’t want to get lumped into a category with Christians. As long as I can remember, I haven’t much cared for the people I went to church with or was supposed to glean knowledge from. I only saw judgement and rules… and there’s no quicker way to turn a kid with authority issues off of something than constantly, and often inaccurately, telling them the don’ts of religion.

I pretty much ran as far away from the church as I possibly could. As a teenager I asked my parents to no longer attend church, they reluctantly obliged. I avoided anything to do with religion, church, or God for nearly a decade. Sure, I prayed for things, but we all know that’s not how that works. I think I held on to the morality of it all, but my faith was nothing more than the fact that I still believed in God. And when it really came right down to it, I saw God as some one that didn’t make my dreams come true and didn’t rescue me when I was drowning in sadness.

Fast forward 10+ years. I found myself searching. Knowing there was more. There HAD to be more. I had a beautiful marriage, a blessed life, but I knew I was intended for more. What was I searching for!? After a bit of guidance and a tremendous book that hit me right in my feels, I realized that blaming God for Christian’s behavior and the type of church environment I grew up in was bonkers. It wasn’t fair to place all of that crap on The Lord. People are only human and they will disappoint you, but God is eternal. Forever. Do you get that!? I didn’t. There is nothing in this world that you can do to separate you from the amazing love that’s freely given from the Heavenly Father. BOOM. The more I understood this, the more my heart began to soften and I was awakened to the amazing goodness that lay ahead of me.

IMG_2734Finding a place to worship and be filled with the word literally terrified me. I had tried a church or two over the past decade, but was always immediately turned off by something. Well, like he’s known to do, God met me where I was and through his divine intervention I was introduced to my San Diego church home. A place where people genuinely wanted to know about me and where you couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the spirit of The Lord. I talked to the pastor after my first message and cried like a moron and cursed at least 2 times. Out of practice with the whole church thing much!?! #fail

I started attending a bible study and made an effort to be involved. Not going to lie, I was beyond freaked out to  jump in, but nothing had felt more authentic and right to me in a long time… But more than anything I was shown a world where God didn’t equal rules, or a to do list, or a judge, or anything other than what he truly is, LOVE. Passionate, unconditional, unwavering love and I want everyone to know it. I want my kids to know it. My husband. Strangers on the street.

I’m still human. I fail on a weekly daily hourly basis, but my encouragement is just the never ending grace God grants us! There is so much joy to be had in this life, live it with fervor and intention. Live it in LOVE.

  1. Christina says:

    I remember those days…. when you didn’t “go” to church. A lot of Christians ruin the point of being a Christian, by treating others terribly. “You aren’t a good christian”, “you aren’t following the right religion”…. and so on and so forth. People judge, and god is the only judge. I am happy you are back. This was a very heartfelt post and thank you for sharing!

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