But First, Coffee

sleeplessssss.001So part of me feels like people don’t want to hear about how effing tired I am, but there’s this other part of me who A. doesn’t care and B. feels like it’s complete bullshit if I pretend to have a perfect baby who sleeps perfectly and shits perfectly… I don’t even know what that means, but I’ve seen bloggers with beautiful family pics of their amazing baby who not only brings joy and perfect piles of perfect poo, they sleep through the night and even started working a part time job to pay for diapers… It makes me mad, like, rullll mad. I know a ton of moms read these blogs and think, Shit, what am I doing wrong?! Nothing, you’re doing nothing wrong!! Around 4.5 months MohawkRoc completely forgot how to sleep. So for the past month or so we have gone back to the basics of getting him sleeping through the night. We are dealing with “the rolling over” phase and he’s yet to master rolling back so he wakes up on his tummy very angry-like… but enough of that, here’s what has been sustaining us during our sleep fast.

[1] Fuel. There are a variety of must have beverages: h2o, coffee, and beer… not necessarily in that order. Hydrating is super important and La Croix coconut sparkling water is my favorite thing in the world. I toss back these things like a boss. Donut Shop’s Coconut Mocha coffee is INSANE delicious, I mean so good. I’ve never needed coffee before, but that is not the case any more. I don’t do cream and sugar, but lately I haven’t been digging my usual super bitter black coffee. Enter this coffee. It’s so crisp and yummy you don’t need to add anything. Then there’s the booze. Banquet Beer. Cheap and tasty. Perfect when you just need a light beer with dinner to relax your brain from thinking about how you probably aren’t going to sleep tonight either… le sigh… Oh and let us not forget to eat. We live off of Chipotle. Brown Rice. Beans. Veggies. Gauc. Lettuce. Relatively healthy, cheap, and fast. Boom. Enjoy with cold Banquet beer.

[2] Wardrobe. It’s imperative you have stretchy lounge pants acceptable to be worn in public and a good hat… Boom. Pair with a cute tee or tank and you look like you give a damn, but we all know the truth… Not only do you not remember when you last gave a damn, you also put your underwear on inside out this morning and can’t be bothered to fix them… not that I’m speaking from experience…

[3] Beauty. So eye cream is my new best friend. I’ve actually been using the whole line of Renée Rouleau products and I’m really impressed with the results, but this eye cream is brilliant. Total Eye Repair. Because, DAMN, we need to repair those eyes. And forget wearing your hair down, your kid is gonna pull all that shit out, like giant chunks of hair, and then they are going to try and eat it… Weirdos. I love these Emi Jay hair ties, they help you avoid hair headache!

[4] Entertainment. Our attention spans are pretty pathetic these days, but once the monster nugget is asleep we like to snuggle and laugh our asses off. Currently, we are obsessed with Blackish and The Mindy Project. We also love Modern Family, New Girl, About a Boy, and Brooklyn 99.  All VERY funny and while we might not know much, we know funny. We also watch The Walking Dead, but we right now we are a few episodes behind. CARRLLLLLLLLLLL.

[5] New Challenge. Journaling. I opened up to a wonderful friend about how the exhaustion was really weighing on me. I feel tired to my core. It’s so hard to do anything well when you are that worn out and that can really start to affect your mood. I had been praying for rest for Mohawk and for The Captain and I and was just really feeling unheard, my friend suggested journaling and just keeping all those thoughts fresh in my mind and having an open and honest connection to my feelings and to God.

Hope this helps in some small way!! It helped me just to right it out!! So ladies, I want to know what are your must haves when you are utterly exhausted!?!

  1. oykristen says:

    LAURRRRREENNNNN. Girl. GIRL. I completely feel you. I wish we lived on like, the same side of the country so we could take each other out to lunch and pat each other’s (probably unwashed) hair and just cry. Hahah this new baby thing is wonderful and exhausting and so complicated. But you are doing it! You are keeping that little angel baby alive and you are doing it SO WELL. So proud of you.
    Our little one went through the 4 month sleep regression too. I PROMISE you that he will come through it. That sleep regression was literally the dark night of my soul and I was ready to head into a therapists office, but then suddenly, the baby started sleeping more. Starting napping more. And once they sleep, we sleep… and you start slowly feeling like yourself again. It’s so strange and wonderful. I finally started to feel like my head wasn’t SO foggy when he reached 6 months. You are right around the corner from, like, laughing during the day times again.
    But I promise. I still need wine at night.
    You’re the best!!!!

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